remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
