I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
