Your dad touched me again.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
