I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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