so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She bit a glass in half.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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