butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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