Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize