I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
