So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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