there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
