You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
