fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
