So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
