Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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