everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
