I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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