So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
