They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
