so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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