Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
