Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
