I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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