I'm passing your future prison.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ladies don't puke and tell
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
