So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
