It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
