so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
