Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
