god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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