STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
