His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
