I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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