so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
