i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
