So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
