Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
