worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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