She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
