Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
