hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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