...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
