i just wanna soil my oats bro
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she peed on how many people?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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