wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
