i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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