She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
