ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
