Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
