There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just found puke in my bra..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
