I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
