My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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