If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
