so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
