ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
