The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
