Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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