I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
