you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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