If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I need moral support for this bender
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
